Aspergers in relationships

04.03.2018 01:28 • #1

Hallo everybody. .I am interested to find out how much support is available in the German health system for partners living with Asperger people. Also, do you get any understanding from your friends and family or do they believe, as they do here in England and America, that WE should be more 'empathetic' towards our Asperger partners ?
I tried everything possible in the book to make my relationship work but, sadly, had to give up after SEVEN years for the sake of my own sanity. Traurig

04.03.2018 01:37 • x 1 #2

Sorry to say but there is Really no Support for this. And well i am an asperger diagnosted patient

x 3

Aspergers in relationships

04.03.2018 01:39 • #3

How did it happen, that you're writing here? Do you have plans to come to Germany?

I guess, the German system is offering a lot of support, if you are willing to find and take it.

Did you try to talk frankly to your boyfriend or partner? To explain your point of view and your needs and feelings may lead to success in such a relationship.

04.03.2018 02:59 • #4

Sorry to say but there is Really no Support for this. And well i am an asperger diagnosted patient[/quote]

Thank u Fluuke. Will come back tomor once I've worked out how this forum functions.
Gute nacht

04.03.2018 05:46 • #5

Sorry Candela.....I did send two msgs just saying I'll write more tomorrow once I've worked out how to operate this system. You may have got them but they may have gone somewhere else or got lost in the Cloud somewhere ! Smile

)

04.03.2018 09:07 • #6

As an advisor within the german health system i cannot see any supportive benefits aside from the (well appreciated) self help sector .
however, there are official medical guidelines published by the awmf for several mental illnesses and, actually, including the relatives into the therapy is always one crucial point. but this mostly is focused on the patients recovery. help for the relatives is prone to be forgotten. unless the relative him/herself develops a disease himself like burn out or any other icd which justifies consulting in- or outpatient care

good luck!

04.03.2018 18:58 • x 1 #7

Hi Juliet.....thank you for your msg. Very kind. This is such a huge subject that it is almost impossible to make any general observations here as this forum is not specifically dealing with problems experienced by partners of Asperger people.
I went on German Google and immediately came across a post on this forum where a young lady was talking about her marital problems due to her partner's Aspergers or HFA (high functioning autism), as it is now called.
Unfortunately, I have lost the original contact, so cannot respond to her questions as I am new to this forum and don't yet fully understand how it works. Oh ! Just found it again : "Beziehungsprobleme - Liebe & Partnerschaft" von 'Kraftlose', 08.07.2017 03:24.
However, on re-reading all her posts and responses to them, I feel reluctant to refresh the subject as it goes back to last summer and 'Kraftlose' has obviously found a solution to her problem. Besides, having successfully extricated myself from such a tiring relationship after seven years, I now know it's best not to bring back all my own bad memories. So, thank you for your reply. Much appreciated !

04.03.2018 19:33 • #8

hi @Oct2010 - did you find out already how to get into contact with a member of this forum?
maybe @kraftlose is still
around and will reply if she learns that her input is wanted....
unless you dont want to touch this painful memories...

feel hugged

04.03.2018 20:58 • #9

Forgive me asking Juliet but are u Canadian living in Germany ? I'm German but have lived in England all of my erwachsen life, which is a loooong time.
I initially came on Google to find out if there is a support system for one of my nieces in Germany whose marital problems, I suspect, are due to the strong likelihood of her husband being Asperger, though I very much doubt she is even aware of this condition. This 'condition' is NOT an illness, as it is often mistakenly called. It's simply a difference in mental wiring and therefore 'incurable', unless the child from age 2 is given behavioural therapy.
I thought a support group such as a forum could give her valuable information. However, she is inextricably bound to her partner through their close business cooperation and it is maybe best if I don't stir a hornet's nest.
As for 'Kraftlose', she appears to have been given a lot of useful advice by 'On-line' and clearly is not looking for any further contributions. I'm happy for her.
I've spent 7 years researching and living Asperger and pretty much know everything there is to know on this sad and painful subject. Every time I get lured back in, I have to acknowledge that the complexity of it will not allow me to do justice to it by a few comments on this forum. So I need to give up ....and I'm not normally a quitter !
It was nice meeting u and I wish u all the best for the future.

x 4