Good Bye

Babe, I don’t really know what our status is, and right now all of this feels like walking through a minefield to me. I often don’t know how much of my everyday life I want to share, how much affection I can show, what feels like too little and what might be too much. I don’t know if there will ever be babe time again or if that part of us is gone.

I find myself constantly trying to read into every little thing between us. I keep wondering what things mean, whether I’m reading too much into them or not enough. Sometimes I see a heart and wonder if it’s just a heart or still an expression of love. And I realize how much energy I spend trying to understand something I simply cannot know right now.

I still love u like crazy. I miss u, and I notice that not knowing what we are or where this is going is slowly bringing me to the end of my strength.

U asked for time, and I promised u I would respect that and keep my door open. I meant it, and I still do. I don’t want to take that time away from u, and I’m not asking for an answer now.

I also know that even if we decide to try again, it won’t magically fix everything. I know there would still be work ahead of us, for both of us. I know we would have to rebuild trust, communicate differently, change some things and learn to accept others. And I know that even then, there is no guarantee that it would work.

But I know that I would be willing to do that work with u. Not because I know it will work, but because I still believe what we had is worth finding out.

Whatever happens with us, there is one thing I never want u to doubt: I loved u with everything I had. I still do.

And I think I need to stop trying to understand every little sign and leave the next step with u. I need to protect myself a little too. My door is still open. If u need me, if u miss me, if u want me — u know where I am. ❤

I can feel how much love and pain are in your words. Sometimes we have to give someone the space they need, while also protecting our own heart. ❤